Theodore Caspian

I haven’t been able to post on this blog for a very long time because we lost our baby in February & it was too hard to write about him, and I couldn’t write about anything else.

We found out he was possibly ill early in my second trimester & then in January that he was in fact critically ill and not likely to survive. We had to go to Melbourne a number of times for tests & specialised ultrasounds, with further ultrasounds and obstetrician appointments every week, until the first week of February when he died. I was induced and gave birth to him on February 5^th. He was buried in the local cemetery following a graveside service with a few close family and friends.

He had hydrops (fluid buildup) as a complication of Down’s Syndrome.

Here’s a picture of a bootie I started making him early on & finished in time for him to be buried with it (it was too big for him to wear). I finished a matching one to keep with the things we have to remember him. 

Christmas, gardens

Our cactus flowered, I was quite amazed :). 

The zucchini was the only vegetable we got into the ground this year. I was preoccupied with lying on the couch. Also because of this, they rarely get cooked & instead grow to gigantic proportions on the bush. Here is Theo demonstrating umm I don't know what.

Had a nice Christmas Eve service at our church, it was great, haven't had one of those for years (the past few years they've had a Christmas morning service).

Some nice Chrissie pics. 

And Christmas day. Even the dog gets a present :).

And the rest of the day was at Theo's parents house :). 

And then we had Boxing Day/ my sister Mim's bday/ Christmas with her. 

I made a present for someone, but I didn't get time to do another one before Christmas, so she got the 'practice' one lol ;). 

Now for a shot of my favourite nasturtium. 

And I was craving plain apple pie, so Theo made me one, complete with love hearts :). 

It's still all a blur

The past few months have been a bit of a blur. More blurry than usual ;). Combine that with less blogging than usual & everything has sort of vanished into that place where people's names & random events go to be forgotten. 

What miscellaneous events can I dredge up to help fill in the blanks? And let's just hope that I haven't actually blogged about it already & just forgotten that too ;). 

The chook Dotty turned into a rooster that attacked the duck Daisy, until she bled everywhere. Dotty has gone on a long trip. Bye bye. 

The loungeroom carpet reeked so much I couldn't stand to touch it (it just got worse in the warmer weather). A previous resident obviously had pets indoors, to say the least. We ripped it up & discovered nice varnished floorboards underneath. They need re-doing, but that's not a priority. Here's a photo of the mould and gunk stuck to them before we cleaned them ;). All those little black dots had to be gently scrubbed off, they're not just marks lol. Appetizing.

We had a mini family reunion in November, whatever cousins & aunts & uncles could make it did so, that was nice. (My mum's side of the family).

In October, Theo's Oma (his Dad's mum) died at the ripe old age of 90. She'd been sick for a long time. Less than a week later, his Pop died (his Mum's dad). He was also very ill. Both big family events. Theo's family was obviously a bit knocked around to say the least. I felt like an attention seeker because I was a real flake & had to leave both services early & sit outside on the ground, eating crackers & apples. 

Oh, we had the anniversary of when Theo & I met ;). We don't know what day exactly. 

Can't remember anything else right now :). 

Baby stuff & The Winged Gift

Well, it’s been a while. Until a couple of weeks before Christmas, I got so sick (just nausea, dizziness, tiredness that also made me nauseated lol), that I could only leave the house in short bursts when Theo drove me :). Pretty pathetic. A lot of the time I just laid on the couch wanting to throw up. My mum came and did some housework for me twice a week (we did actually pay her ;)).

Good news: I can actually drive somewhere by myself now, and be gone for hours! I can do a lot of my own housework! (the rest just doesn’t get done ;)). I have added salad rolls, Subway and icecream to my diet! Yay for small blessings! Lol. And I actually got my Christmas shopping done before Christmas. Just ;) But I am wondering when I will ever be able to cook an actual meal again. (Scalloped potatoes don’t count). I did make vegie lasagne a few weeks ago (although Theo did help ;)). Can’t stand the thought of it now ;).

We got a galah a few weeks ago. He’s only a baby and we think he blew out of a tree in a paddock nearby in some strong winds, and no parents came to claim him. (I always wanted a galah, I was very happy. He was like a gift from the sky ;)). He couldn’t fly. A week later he flew enough that he escaped and we lost him (here I am, devastated again). Then the next day my stepdad found him wandering around in the carpark next door and returned him (happy again!). Poor thing was so hungry. He’s my current little baby ;). 

We had our next blood test & 12 week ultrasound & both of the tests by themselves suggested we should go have an amnio. We decided not to, it certainly wouldn’t make a difference to how we proceeded with anything. We’re just being positive & seeing what happens.

Finally had our first antenatal appointment at the hospital! We were meant to have it at the start of December, but when we turned up for that one, there was some mixup and we did everything they told us to do, including sit in the wrong spot, and the place was packed full of very old people, so we missed the appointment and had to reschedule for three weeks later. It was just really really dumb, especially as Theo took the day off work for it lol. So, had our first/second one, turns out the doctor’s office lost our original blood tests & the hospital didn’t have them & so I had to do that again ;). And more peeing in a cup.

I’ve been drinking half strength Gatorade in an effort to stop this dehydration thing I’ve got going on. For some reason I am finding it harder to drink water than I did when I felt even worse lol. I’ve been getting a lot of headaches and I think that’s just because I’m dehydrated. When I drink more, they go away anyway ;).

I really really really want Subway now. I don’t want to drive 20 minutes for it though. Dang. If Theo was home, he’d be very nicely asked if he wanted to go for a drive….

Ooh! And I’m not just feeling fat now, I actually have a bit of a baby bump :). Yay!!!

p.s. for any visitors from the baby site, sorry that this is basically a repeat of what i posted there ;)